SO YOU THINK YOU DON’T HAVE A DISABILITY?
In no doubt, most of you have experienced moments in life that gave you pause to reflect on your past, present and future. I’d like to share one of my personal moments with you,
Years ago, while serving as a counselor at a Crippled Children’s summer camp, I was afforded what continues to be one of my most humbling and thought provoking moments.
Mike M., although no longer a child, (at the time he was 21), was born in such a deformed manner that his body was basically in the same form as he was while still in his mother’s womb. At birth, Mike was placed into a home for the incurable.
This very special human being was unable to care for himself in any manner and was relegated to being strapped into a specially built wheelchair, forced to rely on counselors for literally everything. Although each counselor was normally assigned 2 – 3 campers per session, Mike was my only charge that particular session.
Here was a young man who had no chance for any change in his physical disability. He did, however, have a zest for life that we could all strive to emulate. His love of life and positive attitude has remained with, and guided me, since.
Mike had a remarkable, sharp mind, was well- read and articulate in speech. Although devoid of what most of us consider to be normal physical abilities, he continually exhibited a positive, can do attitude and a ready smile. He also had a special talent which brought laughter and glee to all the rest of the campers and staff as well.
A pea shooter! Mike would ask that I drop 2 – 3 peas in his mouth and place his monogrammed, yes, monogrammed pea shooter between his lips. He took great delight in such things as waiting until a staff member would lift a fork or spoon of food and then shoot the food from the utensil, spraying other nearby counselors and campers. Mike’s accuracy was phenomenal – to
say the least. The best way to describe it is that he could shoot a bead of sweat off of a flea’s ‘tush’ from 50 feet.
One morning while preparing Mike for breakfast, he asked me a question that has continued to give me grateful for my blessings throughout my life.. He asked, “Barry, people can see my disability. What’s yours?” My response was something like, “Mike, I don’t have any disabilities.”
As years passed, I began to realize what Mike had really been asking – and telling me. Did I have hidden disabilities that limited the positive fulfillment of my life? Was I being stopped by hidden disabilities while Mike’s obvious disability did nothing to hold him back from enjoying his life to the best of his ability?
Could my disability be lack of a positive attitude, envy or jealousy, or the failure to look for the good in others? Could it be an unwillingness to give of myself, a failure to utilize my talents in pursuit of my own definition of success, inability to laugh at myself, or to learn from my mistakes and failures? Was I waiting for circumstances beyond my control to dictate my life? Was I merely waiting for that ‘pot of gold’ to find me instead of working for it myself? Did I have disabilities that could be more detrimental to my acceptance of my individual sunrises of opportunity?
Should I now feel sorry for myself because at a younger than normal age I underwent a quadruple bypass? Or that I had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer 10 years ago that required 5 radiation treatments per week? Should enjoyment of my living experience stop because I now take a new and experimental form of chemotherapy, by mouth, every day plus a form of radiation twice per week? I THINK NOT!
Mike taught me, with one simple question, that I can approach life with a “going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with me” attitude.
Life is a smorgasbord of opportunity. Mike taught me that visible disabilities should be viewed as exactly as they are – manageable inconveniences. The only permanent disabilities lie in the failure to love and live life to the fullest within the limits of circumstances beyond our control. Smiling, laughing at and loving life is what it’s all about.
Any of us, at any time, any age, any physical situation and under any circumstances can commit to looking for and taking advantage of the countless, daily sunrises of opportunity granted to us by The Boss. To do less should be unthinkable and you should consider it unacceptable.
Thank you Mike – wherever you are.
Folks, you can see my disability – WHAT’S YOURS?
“MOMMY, DADDY – LOOK AT ME!”
We all have the desire to be recognized – to stand out from the crowd – in our own way. The desire starts at an early age. Think back to how important it was, as a child for your parents to see you doing a somersault or cartwheel and screaming, “Mommy, Daddy, look at me!”
As adults, we display our desire for recognition by the cars we drive, our career achievements, vacations we take, clothes we wear and the people we want to be seen with and be seen by.
Advertisements in print and on radio and television attempt to convince us that we can have greater recognition by purchasing the right ‘goodies’. Ads for clothing claim that success is tied to wearing the right style and colors. Society even says that the type of automobiles we drive, our bank accounts, the side of the tracks we live on, where we go on vacations, etc. are statements of “who” we are.
Having the ‘toys’ of recognition is not bad, tacky immoral or wrong. However, if you have gained your recognition without having earned it through your achievements, positive attitude and/or sincere outpouring of assistance to others, then the recognition you receive will not be sincere nor a real energizing force. To be effective and an energizing force, the recognition you receive must be genuine, prompt and sincere. Most importantly, the quality of your recognition must be in line with your achievements in your personal and professional life – not what you wear or what you drive.
FISHIN’ WITHOUT GUCCI SHOES
Society, as a whole, leans toward being presumptuous with respect to the definition of success we should embrace as doctrine. From society-acceptable, high-paying careers, to where we live, to the amount of money we have, to the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the beverages we drink, even the vacations we take.
The courage to strive for and live your own personalized definition of success is a difficult temperament to master when you are confronted by society’s “keeping up with the Jones” tendency. This predilection is buoyed by advertisements in all forms of media featuring smiling, dancing, purportedly happy folks as successful, and accepted, because they drive the right car, have the right label on their clothes, live in the right place, drink the right beer, and other “right” inanities.
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, fishing pole propped in the sand with a solitary line cast into the sparkling blue surf, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way”, said the businessman, “you should be working instead of lying in the sand”.
The fisherman looked up, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?” “Well, sir, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer.
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman. The businessman was becoming visibly angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And what will my reward be?” The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking in the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”
It’s easy to get mired in society’s overall stratagem of needing to work harder and harder to earn more and more so that we will be recognized by others when we may already have, individually, what can provide us with the greatest possible happiness.
“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that.” (I Timothy 6:6-8).
The courage to be true to yourself and be happy. To be ‘independent’. What a concept, huh? The inner desires you may have thought were out of reach because of what you may have faithlessly believed were limits holding you back, can be yours starting today. Why just dream about your inner desires when you can live as a ‘society-independent’, setting effective goals, developing effective achievement plans, giving of yourself, and then rightfully claim self-acceptance? Then go fishin’ in the ‘shoes’ of your choice – and, be fulfilled.
SO, MONEY TURNS YOU ON?
All money does is to allow you to get the things you must have and need in your daily life. Money allows you to house, clothe, feed and provide other life sustaining functions for yourself and your family. Basically, anything more than that is ‘window dressing’.
Many folks harbor the belief that if they could just get their ‘mitts’ on a ‘pile of money’, they would be set for life. However, people who receive money without working for it almost always find themselves reverting back to their original financial level, or worse. Their standard of living does not really increase, and, in many cases decreases, because of their excessive spending on material related ‘toys’.
If you receive money without earning it, and, subconsciously, see yourself as having money without earning it, you can literally spend yourself back into mediocrity because you did not learn to respect money as an energizer. You did not earn the money through your own knowledge, skills, productive actions or talent.
Having a transparent vision of the money you will earn in the future is a must. Most importantly, the amount of money you plan on earning must be supportive of, and not conflict with, your overall definition of success. The amount you earn and the method by which you earn it, must be in lock-step with all other aspects of your overall plan for individual success or money will not be an energizer.
“It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but, it’s good, too, to check once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.”
George Horace Latimer
Money can only be a positive energizer when the amount you earn is in direct proportion to the service you render – personally and professionally. Further, money is good, but it cannot, itself, make you happy. Money can only allow you the opportunity to investigate the other things that can contribute to your already happy and successful life.
I am not implying that you should not want to earn ‘tons’ of money. I hope you do. But, I do hope the amount you earn will be in direct proportion to the service you give to others and aligns with your overall definition of success. If not, you stand the chance of being in constant conflict with yourself and possibly find yourself bouncing from one method of making the ‘sure and easy’ buck to another. Money, the “root of all evil”? NOT! Planned for and earned through positive effort and service to others and giving back to God, money CAN be the aphrodisiac that turns you on to a rich, full living experience.